Still moments.

Hello everyone. I have neglected my writing, and for this... I am sorry. Christmas is coming, which makes me very happy. I am slipping into endless hours of my own thoughts, and techniques of wasting time. Simple? Maybe.
The countdown is on- but does it really end?

Christmas Shoe Boxes.

Last Wednesday I went to the Samaritans Purse warehouse to sort Christmas shoe boxes.

For those of you that don't know... Operation Christmas Child is a project to bring Christmas presents to children in poor, developing countries- who otherwise would not be getting any gifts.
Pretty awesome. I love this, because it really shows the beauty in Christmas. For many of these children, this is the first gift they will ever receive. Joy fills their hearts. Simply and perfectly. This year I filled a box for a little boy. And I have to say, or more so brag haha...this kid is going to be envied. He has a stuffed Tiger, a blue baseball cap, paper, pens, a red race car, and batman sandals, along with some other essentials. I know I know. Awesome.

At the warehouse we sort through the boxes, you know...checking for things that could harm a child both physically or emotionally. And we check for things that won't make it through airport security. It is super fun. You get to see all the awesome things that people packed in the boxes! You also end up playing quite a bit. Haha I mostly did taping this year. Taping the boxes shut, and making sure everything stays together. Tape dispensers are so exciting.
This year we also got to hear a lovely men's choir. Nothing like some Christmas carols to get you in the holiday spirit.

Someday I want to deliver the boxes. I would absolutely love that.

Anyway, that is all for now. I encourage all of you to volunteer next Christmas! You won't regret it. You will leave shining =)

-Lexi

Never Ever.

I will not forget.
Because with every step,
and every moment-
part of me was built.
Every person-place-thing,
played their part.
In pieces,
yet perfectly whole.
Grateful.
Sad.
Content.
I will not forget.


-Lexi
I love Winnie the Pooh.

Also, I have many things to write about. I have been slow and busy with studying. All in good time. Happy Tuesday. AND Happy December!

The Turn Of Opportunity...

Opportunity- it floods our lives. Each day we are given many opportunities. What do we make of them? Do we even recognize our chances anymore? I was thinking about this last night. Someone once told me, to take every opportunity that comes my way. But I am going to be realistic...that is not possible. If I take every opportunity, I will be worn thin. Passion will be gone.

I just had a deja vu moment, but I can't recall. Maybe I was reminiscing over things I never had.
Don't we seem to do that a lot?

Anyway...I have noticed that sometimes our greatest opportunities- that would do the most good, are right in front of us. By the time we figure it out and realize what we have, it is too late. The opportunity is gone.

So should we be upset about this? I don't really know. We can't truly know what we missed out on. We can't clearly see the alternative pathway that we would have traveled.

"I should have- I could have- I would have."
Don't worry.
Just stay open.

That is all my thoughts for now. Back to studying.
-Lexi

Ps. I have written other posts recently on the awesome collaborative blog I am part of. Go to http://ifeveryonewaslistening.blogspot.com to read them. =)

Crafting.

Hello Everyone. I hope you are all doing well. The end of the weekend is near. In the past few months I have stopped a lot of my planning ahead. Not all of it, but most. I make almost all of my weekend plans on Thursday-Friday night. It has been a good experience. I limit my lists....and take part in whatever comes my way. Many of the activities I would not think to do, but with great people in my life, and their drive for adventure- I have had some great fun. We'll see where it goes.

Saturday I went to a craft show. It was great fun. Many people don't know this about me, but I very much love crafting. I used to do it very often. I was even part of a club. Haha I don't do it as much anymore, but one step into an art shop, and my creative mind takes over. Someday I will join an art show. It will be fun. I don't know what I could make. Maybe I will paint rocks....or make candle holders.

Goodnight and happy crafting!
-Lexi

10:00pm

10:00pm.
Quiet and calm as I sit with a book and drink warm tea.
This is my favorite time of day...
where simplicity and complexity are in harmony.


Goodnight world.
-Lexi

Breaking Boundaries.

I failed to post my weekly blog on time. I started writing this one on....Thursday morning? I think. Whatever. It is still relevant. So here it is...

Do you ever get the feeling that you just care way too much? Now, before I get going- I am not writing this blog to make it sound like I care so much about everything and I am hard done by. No way. There are many things I really should care about...and I just don't. There are times I should cry, and I just can't. And things I should miss, and I never do. Then there are the things that throw me over the edge...and are completely ridiculous.
So, why write about this? I have no idea. I am feeling sad. Maybe this is a rant...
To speak your mind...or to be observant and discerning. Which one? Both are smart- but they take different paths. Do you care enough to share? Or is sharing not always caring?

I was thinking about how caring for some people is like running at full speeds into a brick wall. Blocked and hard, while attempting hurts. But with time and effort each brick can be slowly taken down...piece by piece. What is left, is very special. As it can be taken down, it can also be built back up- through words, actions, and emotions.

In the end we all have the same fate. Where do these walls come from? Break them down. Love.

-Lexi

What we call chaos is just patterns we haven't recognized yet.
- Chuck Palahniuk

Metric Concert

On Friday October 30 2009 I saw Metric in concert.

I will describe to all you people who may read this blog, how incredibly awesome that night was...starting at the beginning.

At around 6pm- Claire and I are dropped off in front of the Big Four building. The concert starts at 7pm, and the line is still short. We are very pleased and step into line behind a girl dressed up as a cat, and a man dressed up as a maid. They introduce themselves, and we have a long chat...along with some good laughs. The sun is slowly setting as the line grows. We are cold and anxious as the time creeps closer to 7.

At last the doors open, and we swiftly walk to the stage. We are close. Our view is excellent.

We stand for an hour... waiting for the opening band. We meet a cute couple, and engage in some perfect small talk. We then meet a young boy, who explains to us that this is going to be his first stand up concert- we reassure him that he will most likely be fine and won't break any bones.
The lights dim, and the thumping back beat coming out of the speakers slowly ends. Opening band enters the stage.




The four of them played well. They excited the audience with their catchy tunes, exotic outfits, and stage presence. Unfortunately I can not remember their band name. I will find them someday.


Metric is soon. 30 minute wait as they set the stage and do final sound checks. The lights dim for the last time, and the crowd roars. Metric makes their entrance. The crowd pushes forward, and I am moved right up against the barricade. The perfect view.


With their amazing sound, and engaging presence...the band quickly pulls you in. Stuck in the moment. Emily Haines sings beautifully and works the keys with ease, while Jimmy Shaw puts the crowd in awe with his awesome guitar riffs. Their sound is tight.



The crowd is now crashing into me. The security guard asked at least 5 times if I was okay, and if I wanted to be pulled out. There was no way. I was staying.




As the night moved on we met another fan. He was insane and completely awesome. He yells at the top of his lungs. "The guitar is coming!!!! Are you ready?!" Screams to Jimmy Shaw... "Do it!! DO IT!!" "Yes! Metric is INCREDIBLE!!!" He was fantastic.
Metric had a great set. I could not point out one thing I didn't love. They had two encore songs, one being an acoustic version of 'Combat Baby' -beautiful. And as easily as it started, it was over.



10:30pm. Claire and I make our way towards the C-Train. Amazed and tired, we stand quiet...and content. We board the train, and make our journey home. It is something about the train at night that is just perfect....

October Adventures.

Happiness can often be a decision. You can't wait around for the light to shine through the clouds. Sometimes... you have to just have fun in the dark. I am going to be completely broke in about a month but that's okay. I am going on crazy awesome adventures. Not to mention....Christmas is coming. Anyway, tonight is METRIC! That is right. Pure awesome. I am still in shock that I am even going. I will write all about it later. Tomorrow is Halloween. I am going Trick or Treating. Haha I lost my costume though!!!! I searched everywhere. I remember seeing it in the summer when I cleaned out my closet. I shouldn't have done that. Oh well. I will just let Claire dress me up in whatever she wants =) Within reason. Haha

Happy Friday to everyone!!
-Lexi

Now for a moment of Edgar Allan Poe. Just because he is awesome.
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!
- Edgar Allan Poe (1845) "The Raven"

"Will you sing me a song?"

Today, I woke up early. To avoid falling behind in school, I often go in for tutorial. Chem tutorial starts at 8am. My Father drives me, but we have to leave by 7:30. I set my alarm for 6... with the hope of getting up relaxed, having a shower, and maybe watching the news. But, this does not happen. I pull out of bed at 7:10- scramble for food, and rush out of my house feeling gross. I will back track a bit though. 7:10... I come out of my room. My Dad is already sitting at the kitchen table, reading the paper, and drinking his coffee. He comments on my grumpy face, and tells me to hurry up. I pour some cereal...and we sit briefly and talk. We usually both agree that it would be nice to stay home, pull out the amazingly warm electric blanket, curl up on the couch, put in a Harry Potter movie, and fall asleep. We laugh. I am still exhausted, so I eat quietly while he talks about news articles. This is the ultimate in small talk. The time is now 7:25. I have 5 minutes to pull everything together, but still I sit. This is where he asks me a question. A question that nearly always brings me close to tears. But as hard as I try, I am unable to hold a straight face. I always smile. "Will you sing me a song?"

In Heart and Mind...

It has nearly been a week, so it is time to blog. What topic shall I choose?

I will start with a quote I read on Saturday.
"I demand unconditional love, and complete freedom. That is why I am terrible." (sorry, I don't know the author)

This quote really speaks for itself. It holds its weight. I like it. Hmmmm I think an extremely good balance can be achieved though. Freedom allows for love. Love can release a freedom from within.

What else do I have......

I really enjoy a band called 'Sleeping at Last' they are very poetic. I forget about them sometimes, but I always come back. Today I had a song stuck in my head. It was one of their songs called "Quicksand" I will post the lyrics. Then you can become extremely excited, and go listen for yourself.

There are wires in between
Human heart and machine.
I will wait for mountains
To tell me you're okay

On paper my future will lay.
Ill fold every failure into a crane.

Trust is quicksand,
Claiming everything I have,
All to give me life, all to give me life.

Slow down, hide your eyes!
The sun is setting fire
Through glass, branches deep.
I cough only to breathe.

Trust is quicksand,
Claiming everything I have,
All to give me life, all to give me life.
One thousand more to go,
Ill send every prayer from below.
I was swallowed by a whale.

Slow down, you're all words
And love is made of yarn.
Scissors,
A slip of the hand, a slip of the tongue;
God knows I meant no harm, I meant no harm.

In between every promise and lie there is a kiss.
In between tempers and suitcases there is a kiss.

In between medicine and the sick there is a kiss.
In between arrows, aim, and release, there is a kiss.

(Anchors in reverse
Lead us back to birth.)

Trust can be hard. With your whole self you can want to trust, but sometimes there is nothing left- and you can't. It pulls you in. Like quicksand. That is all I have to say about it. I think. Maybe I will think of something profound to say later.

Now for a moment of random thoughts...

Silence cries out.
Both content and anxious.
Thoughts of light and dark.
Silence loves.
Silence hates.
Will you speak out?
Will it help?

That is all for now.
-Lexi
Ps. Metric in 5 days.

Endless words....poetry time?

Hello everyone. Today I am going to share some words with you. They ripped out of my heart a few nights ago. More will be added, some might be taken...but for now, this is it. I hope you enjoy. It is not sad. It is a bridge to clarity. Passionate. And confused....

You let me in.
I stand in the hall and pace.
I can see your room.
I can see where you dance.
Sometimes you let me peek,
sometimes I can stay and watch...
but I can not come in.
The door closes.
I am still welcome in the hall,
but it is not the same.
The clues I no longer can see.
The chances I no longer can feel.
Holding on to you is a fight.
I could let go.
Take to the sky and fly away...
but it is not sane.
It is not my way.
Hope lives on.
It lives on for me.
I know what is happening.
It is like a faint whisper in my thoughts.
Like the wind...
Can't be seen, but it can be felt.
Both warm and cold,
strong and weak.
Clarity comes with time.
It comes from experience.
I live on.

-Lexi

The Weekly Blog.

So... I guess this has turned into a weekly blog. It just sort of happened. Whatever.
It has snowed here already and it is only the beginning of October. I don't mind, I like the snow. It is pretty. There are just a few things I do not like about winter. Mainly I do not enjoy shoveling snow...and I don't really enjoy ice. I fall down, and it makes transportation slow. Other than that, I can deal.
Since I last wrote a blog, Thanksgiving has passed. It was good. My family has never really made a big deal about Thanksgiving but I enjoy it all the same. I like the idea of it. I have much to be thankful for, so I think that a holiday designated towards remembering these things is excellent. This year I went to Claires house for the festivities. Great food and great people. And enough inside jokes to never stop laughing.
Hmmmm what else.... Oh! I started a new book. It's called "A Scanner Darkly" it is good. I like it. I will make sure to talk about it later.
I will leave it at that for now. I have a project in print design due very soon. I should get working.

Bye for now.
-Lexi

Too long.

I took over a week off from blogging.... been going through some rough days that I never thought would come. But I lost my step, and this was the result. There is something interesting about being very sad though, suddenly everything starts to look a lot better.
I really don't have much to talk about, I just know that if I don't force myself to write... I won't. It isn't that I don't write all the time, I just have to be careful about internet writing.
Sooo much has happened in the past week that doing a recap seems over the top. So I am just going to talk about my most recent excitement.

Tegan and Sara + New single = Makes Lexi's life.

This single is off the soon to be released album "Sainthood" which I am completely excited for. I heard this song for the first time today, and have listened to it through at least 20 times. It has so much energy!!! It gets me excited. It is catchy...but not annoying. Double bonus! Haha I can tell already that I am going to listen to this album way too much. If you haven't listened to it yet, I suggest you go the the Tegan and Sara website and check it out.

Have fun!
-Lexi

Sleep.

I have not been in the mood to write. Sometimes I just slip into a strange phase where my passions are not evident. It is odd. I am tired. My brain is no longer functioning properly. It is time for some sleep. So, instead of blogging tonight...I am going to close my eyes and drift into my peaceful state. Much to blog about later. The weekend is near...

Goodnight, and good resting to everyone.
-Lexi

Unavoidable?

Tuesday. Second Monday. Lacking.....
Love: the essence of my deepest joy. It bursts through me like lightning jumps through the clouds. It is the reason for my smiling face, and it is the reason for my broken heart.
In the resent days I have been thinking about love. There are many things, and many people that I love. Love is what pushes me to be the best person I can be. It helps me to clearly see the great things in life. It keeps me floating. Love also tears me apart. It is the reason for my deepest sadness. It causes me to close in. Am I scared of love? Yes. But there is not a single part of me that doesn't want to take the risk.

-Lexi

Determination

Monday, Monday, Monday.
So, I decided last night that this is going to be a good week. It has to be. I am not going to allow it not to be. There are only a few things out of my control that could cause problems. But I am going to be avoiding those. Now, I can't really control my level of sadness. I just am saying that it is going to be a good week.
Things I would like to see happen this week...
-Stay rested
-Go for a morning walk (maybe more than once)
-Have some nice conversations
-Expand my musical vocabulary
-Start reading a new book
-Watch the clouds
-Finish writing my poem
-Research the great red wood trees.
-Play guitar
-Grab the magic bullet from the basement and make smoothies.
(that is all I can think of off the top of my head)

Anyway... I am at school right now. Nothing like school to smack average in your face. But I just had Chemistry, and I was laughing...so I guess it was pretty good. Now I am in Print Design (of course) and I am studying for a biology unit final. Yay. I purposefully left the book I am reading at home to ensure intense concentration on studying. Let us hope I do well. Anybody know the nitrogen cycle off the top of their head? I didn't think so. I had a quiz last week on various chemical cycles. I could only remember the pictures in the diagrams. Haha Visual learner? I guess so.
I should really get back to studying. Much more to blog about later. Maybe even tonight. We will see.

Have a happy day.
-Lexi

Music and Pasta

Oh Saturday...why must you play tug of war with me?
I enjoy Saturdays. They are often a good day of the week. Sometimes they spin me all around though. Like today. But the end of the week is near. Time to prep for the coming days.
Exciting fact of the week: I am going to see Metric in concert. Amazing? Yes. With much stress and excitement, it is official. Claire is amazing, end of story. Thank you X100000. Metric is awesome. Their new CD 'Fantasies' is fantastic. I have listened to it so much that track 4 is skipping. Haha That might not be my fault though, I have lent it out to a lot of people. Just spreading the greatness....that's all. =) Again, I am cutting a blog short. I will make up for it later.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
-Lexi
Ps. I love pasta.

Many Thoughts - With Little Time.

It is Friday. I did not write a blog yesterday. I also do not have a good reason for not doing so.

Time is dragging. It feels like I have experienced a life time in just one week. I might be tired, but I don't really think so. I am just ready for this week to be done. Apparently blogging is a sad thing to do. I can see how it is... but I am determined to keep this blog light and somewhat interesting. What is interesting, is that some of the best writing of all time came from sadness. Through sadness comes change. But that is for another day.

I am going to wrap this up early.
Goodnight.
-Lexi

Day #266

Hello! Happy Wednesday!
I often enjoy this day of the week. It is sort of like my half way recovery. As some people put it, this is 'hump day'. Sort of a questionable name... but if you can make it past Wednesday, then the rest of the week is a breeze. Today is September 23. It is the 266th day of the year and there are 99 days left in 2009. Yes, I did use Wikipedia. =)
Right now I am reading 'Slaughter House 5' by Kurt Vonnegut. It is pretty much consuming my life right now, so I should talk about it! In my English class I was given a list of 101 best books of all time. This was on it. I guess you could say that it is an anti war book. Boring right? Wrong. It is very interesting. The author has many different perspectives on life. Educated perspectives. I enjoy thinking about them. As I was reading last night I came across something very interesting. I will try to explain...
At this point in the book, the main character (Billy) has supposedly been taken away to the planet Tralfamadore. The creatures of the planet have put him into a zoo to be studied. At one point, Billy is discussing the idea of war with some of the Tralfamadorians. This is what it comes to say....

"So-" said Billy gropingly, "I suppose that the idea of preventing war on Earth is stupid, too"

"Of course."
"But you do have a peaceful planet here."
"Today we do. On other days we have wars as horrible as any you've ever seen or read about. There isn't anything we can do about them, so we simply don't look at them. We ignore them. We spend eternity looking at pleasant moments- like today at the zoo. Isn't this a nice moment?"
"Yes."
"That's one thing Earthlings might learn to do, if they tried hard enough: Ignore the awful times, and concentrate on the good ones."
"Um," said Billy.

I thought it was very interesting. "Ignore the awful times, and concentrate on the good ones." As hard as it will be....I am going to make it a goal.

Goodnight everyone.
-Lexi
Ps. I wore white pants after Labour Day

The Second Monday

Hello to all you Internet people...
Today is Tuesday and I have nothing to talk about. But for the sake of keeping this blog going, I will write. Have you ever noticed how Tuesday is basically like Monday? They share very similar properties...to me anyway. The only major difference between the two is that Tuesday you aren't suffering weekend withdrawals. Haha
Lately I have been trying to decide whether I like mornings or nights better. I think I like nights better, but I have definitely come to appreciate mornings more. In the morning you are like a whole new person. Now, I know that sounds super lame. But...it is sort of true. You can make the coming day into anything you want it to be. Life is truly a beautiful thing, if you think about it. Mornings remind me of this. Too bad I love night so much, that I stay up super late and can't take the time to enjoy the early day. I also very much love going for walks in the morning. For all you people who crash around 3pm...yes, exercise in the morning does help keep you energized. So, if you have yet to take a morning walk...you better get on it. Winter is coming.
Happy Monday! Opps...Tuesday.
-Lexi

The Beginning.

Hello everyone and nobody... all at once.
I am going to start blogging. Why? No reason really. I just think a lot in a day. I would like to think that by writing my thoughts on the world wide web, I would be making the earth a better place. But I won't be.
You know- I always get in trouble for starting sentences with 'but'. BUT, I happen to like it. Don't judge. Just conform. =)
Second hand words, from me to you. A gift? Not in the slightest.
Happy first day of Autumn!
-Lexi